“…we’re constantly impressed with the leaps and bounds being made in the world of vegan baking.” [1]
I happened upon this somewhere on the web today, and it caught my attention. But why? I’m not vegan or vegetarian, and would probably never consider becoming either. I do have a good friend who is vegan, but I’ve never baked for her and don’t particularly intend to (sorry Mads). I don’t even like cakes very much.
One can find things on the web that are far more absurd, amusing and stupid, but something about the bland affectedness of this phrase really grabbed me. “We’re constantly impressed.” Really? What do you mean? The extent to which you are impressed never changes? Every time you hear … read on »
Archive for the ‘humour’ category…
In Praise of Argument
I’m argumentative, it’s true. Is that bad? I can’t resist taking a stand, taking sides and making a case. So, in that tradition, in this post I’m going to make a case for argument itself, because I feel it’s under threat. Actually, I feel a rant coming on, rather than a reasoned argument. So be it…
I’ve got into trouble for my argumentative reactions to the statements of others. I might say “nonsense!” or “no, that’s not the way things are at all,” and then I’m criticized for my arrogance. Apparently I should have said “my humble opinion is – and you don’t have to believe it, because it’s just my humble opinion, I mean, what do I know really? and … read on »
Given the Preponderance of…
For the past few months I’ve had this thing – not an earworm, which is the catchy song that you can’t get out of your head (which I’ve written about before in this blog), but what you might call a language worm. Every so often this phrase pops into my head: “Given the preponderance of…”
I’m not sure why this happens, but it’s not exactly unconscious or subconscious. It’s my mind’s attempt to imitate a man with a pompous and wordy manner of speech, maybe as a kind of self-mockery. So if I find myself being too arrogant or condescending, or if I want to affect those qualities for humour, up it pops into my conscious mind.
But I don’t know how … read on »
Squirrels Don't Like Me
Image created by Photoshop genius – Las Tonterias -
A couple of years ago I saw Bill Oddie on his TV show “How to Watch Wildlife,” explaining how to attract squirrels. I was inspired by Bill’s amazingly successful technique: he just noisily rustled a paper bag full of nuts, and squirrels came to him from all around – came right up to him – and ate the nuts right out of his hand.
At the time it was important to me to make the most of my weekends, working as I was in a very stressful IT manager role, and I thought that squirrel-feeding/watching/stroking would be a perfect leisure activity. So one lovely summer day I went down to Edinburgh Royal Botanic … read on »
Sweaty Rectangle
1. Toe
We’ve all got things. You’ve probably got a thing. I know I’ve got several things. One is that I can move the little toe of my left foot so that it’s…well, just watch the footage below.
Can anyone else do this? I would be (mildly) interested to know.
2. Whelk
Whelks! What a great idea. Wow, we’re so adventurous. Aren’t we just the coolest goddam cool urbanite gourmet jelly beans in town? Well…
After a bit of sunbathing in the garden we hopped on a bus up to Stockbridge to mooch, josh, eat, drink, make hay, chat, and drink. First stop fishmonger and it’s always the same: what to get? Do I gotta know before I get in the shop? Apparently so, so:
Er, … read on »
©2010 Alistair Robinson